Becoming a Wife

Two besties are discussing a hot topic of the day: marriage.
“I wanna get married real soon, inshaAllah, though now, I still have no idea where my soulmate is, but Allaah is preparing well for everyone, isn’t He?
now tell me where should I start learning about it from…?”
*they’re getting too excited and drown into ladies version of opening a conversation*
“Relax..take a deep breath.”
Her married bestie replied. And continued.
“Well I’m just a newbie, really.
But I would say, whatever situation you’re facing right now, that could be a preparation test so that you will get some ideas about how a marriage life works.
You said that beside you’re now handling some responsibilities for yourself, you also handle some loads of your family.
That could be a little picture of a marriage. Where life is not just about ourselves, our preference, our interests and all-stuffs-that-relate-to-me.
I’d highlight I have learned from marriage is about…
ikhlaas for the new role. Exactly, the role of being a wife.
It is not an easy role, as an illustration, you are now a really busy woman with a very hectic schedule, then suddenly after marriage, you become a  stay-home wife, if your husband wish you to, and that wish is a command. Obeying a husband request is a must, as long as the requests are not to leave Allaah’s commands.
?The prophet said, “if a woman prays her 5 daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her; ‘enter paradise through whichever of its gates you wish'” reported by Ahmed and Tibraani
whatsoever, with the help of Allaah, it will be the easiest and the best role ever — a wife. 🙂
every bit of effort done for a husband  will counted as ibadah inshaAllah.”
The bride-to-be bestie commented.
“Oh well, I thought all this time my head is too full with all the supplementary knowledge about marriage. Like where I should live, work, how about my social activities, etc.
Whereas the prime thing, is left forgotten.
Being ikhlaas, is really one good starting point I should really tell my self about, but again, how to make myself to be 100% ikhlaas for every situation I am into right now and then.
I still complain a lot, I suppose…”
The married bestie replied.
“That’s human, we aren’t able to achieve perfection level, however, we have Allaah that will guide us to the way to become His ‘perfect’ kind of servant. It could be far from our definition tho’. Ask Him. Really, ask Him. The All-Knowing.
Somehow I can’t answer your question in a way that, that’s beyond my ability as His servant. All I can tell you is, to walk toward Him, I know you already and always do.
So now I would say, run toward Him, as fast as you can. Let Him be your King of the heart always where you can always count on and tell whatever you want to. And be a pious servant.


If normally you tell lots of stuff to me, the social media or other people, now start shifting this habit. Tell it to need no effort and no time is wasted to type up your grungies and upload it to the net, simply tell Him..”
The bride-to-be sighed. And commented.
“You really now me, hey. I thought all this time you never really check on my social media updates, then I am totally wrong..”
Ibn Qayyim (ra) says: “Ibadah is tawhid of love. Therefore the heart and the other organs must bow down to Allaah Almighty as a result. The poet expressed in such a way:
Love is to be in agreement with the loved one.
To accept by heart things which (even) he does not like.
Concordance with it is submitting to his instructions.
The goal (is), to gain the consent of Allaah.’
May Allaah bless all wives, couples and those who are seeking. Aameen.

BarakAllahu fik.

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